I don’t know about you but I don’t get out much. Working from home, raising a toddler and attempting to train a dog keeps me pretty busy. Lu still isn’t sleeping through the night so we can’t really get a babysitter and hit the town, as much as I’d like to.
As a self confessed loser parent going grocery shopping is one of my greatest pleasures. The love affair began during pregnancy when I would treat myself to a little of what I fancied in our local Aldi. That usually meant copious amounts of cheese and juicy berries. Now that I have a toddler attached at the hip grocery shopping, that last joy, is not what it once was.
I’m in mourning and I’m not the only one. I asked some fellow bloggers to share the eye watering ways their children have turned this essential activity into an exercise in shame and stress.
Here’s just a few of the things that almost definetly will happen if you attempt food shopping with a toddler…
- There will always be some idiot without kids who steals the last parent and child parking space!
- You get all the way to the shopping trolleys with a baby in one arm and a toddler in the other and then realise you don’t have a coin!
- Lily likes to cherry pick from the trolley and throw everything on the floor or try to eat it through the packaging! As you do…
- You will forget everything essential on your list (that you’ve also probably forgotten).. and come out with magazines, kinder eggs and ALL the chocolate for you instead!
- You buy magazine because of the pestering and get covered in stickers. Might just be me. It’s a pro tip to keep them entertained in the trolley though.
- The ‘nubby’ of the French stick somehow gets nibbled..
- Three times now my son has had a nappy explosion mid shop. All nappies and wipes etc are in the car. Trolley is filled with food. Every time we’ve continued the rest of the shop whilst glaring at other babies trying to pass off the smell on them. I think it must be something to do with Tesco that gets his bowels moving!!
- My boys always used to tell me (loudly) which shoppers had the horrible food in their trolleys i.e. the really tasty sweets and cakes that I wouldn’t let them have.
- The quest for the lost shoe … it was definitely on his foot when you arrived at the store, so where is it now? A 10 min shop turns into a 30 min frantic workout!!
- No matter how many you have at home, YOU ALWAYS BUY BABY WIPES.
- Your toddler will scream “I NEED A WEE.” With a shopping full of trolley (with the baby TIED in to stop him jumping out) resulting in a sprint across store with a child under each arm not sure if you’ll make it!
- You forget that the cashier has to handle the packaging they’ve been sucking on (anything to keep them quiet when you walk around the shop right) and has to scan it through the till when it’s all soggy
- You’ll get all the way round the store with a wailing 6 month old doing your festive food shop, unload it onto the conveyor belt and realise you forgot your purse. True story.
- It’s finally over, you’ve made it to the checkout and you’ve forgotten the ruddy bag for ‘life’
- You go in for milk and bread and come out having spent £122 with no milk or bread.
Huge thanks to all the wonderful contributors to this post – don’t forget to put wine on the shopping list ladies!